Knight Rider’s ‘KITT’ has to be The Best Car In The World
Oh no, another ode to Knight Rider.
Wait! Knight Rider is amazing! More specifically, KITT is amazing. The ‘Knight Industries Two Thousand’. It’s ostensibly the real star of Eighties classic TV show Knight Rider, familiar to all who either grew up in this era, or have been bored senseless by others who grew up in this era and won’t shut up about it.
Like us.
Thing is, it’s amazing. What it was theoretically capable of means that, quite simply, it is The Best Car In The World. Yeah, eat that Rolls-Royce. As we told you, it’s being displayed at the Petersen Automotive Museum, and they’ve very excellently done a really good photo shoot with the ol’ thing. So now you too must look at these pictures.
OK, you’ve got five minutes to convince me. Go.
First off, it’s indestructible. Yes, we know it is physically impossible for anything to be indestructible (barring an Avtoros Shaman), but this was the Eighties. KITT could fend off pretty much anything thrown its way with a miraculous ability to retain its body shape under heavy fire. Thanks, ‘Tri-Helical Plasteel 1000 MBS’ plating that doesn’t exist!
Burn it. With fire.
Incorrect. KITT is protected by a special coating that laughs in the face of fire!
Suppose it could drive itself too?
Yes. Long before our current age of autonomy, KITT was able to ‘auto cruise’ and avoid obstacles, help Michael Knight during a chase in ‘pursuit’ mode – where KITT would take over the really tricky stuff – and a ‘super pursuit’ that activated ROCKET BOOSTERS. If you’re not jumping up in the air at this revelation then truly, we have no remedy for your malaise.
Rocket boosters?
Correct. There was a regular Turbo Boost function whereby a pair of boosters mounted up front allowed Mr Knight to jump and accelerate to the point of incredulity. Belief? Meet suspension.
Those are big screens.
Most premium car manufacturers value and promote big displays, but – again, proving it truly was ahead of its time – KITT was there first. These wonderful CRT displays allowed Michael to communicate back to HQ, or indeed anyone he damn well wanted to because he’s Michael Knight.
But he could do more than just communicate?
Erm, yes. He could spy on people, download information, gather building schematics and tap phone calls. Maybe we skip over these abilities.
Wait, one of those buttons says ‘Ski Mode’. What?
It’s a simply wondrous ability whereby KITT jumped up and drove on two wheels to evade danger, JUST LIKE A REAL SKI THING.
Doing a Terry Grant before Terry Grant did Terry Grant.
Right. Tell me something really weird about KITT.
It has a smell sensor, mounted in the front bumper. Not sure this was the greatest sensor to add, but who are we to argue with The Best Car In The World? Not least one with a flashy light thing on the bonnet.
This is all silly because NONE OF IT IS REAL.
It is in our heads. Stop being such a spoilsport.
